Kiss From The Strange One


There i laid, staring uncontrollably at the ceiling with very fierce concentration. What could i be thinking of? I worry too much but then again, i cant just pretend like this isn’t reality. Things actually happen. People get rich, people go broke. Where do i stand specifically? I would categorically say am sitting on the fence with thorns on it so you can tell i ain’t comfortable.

Still on my ceiling swag, i thought to myself, ‘why not get some sleep’ because gaping at the ceiling all night won’t yield anything except headache.

I should have a good night rest though because of my king size bed stuffed with all these fluffy pillows around me like am being guarded against intruders. Approaching that point where i was about to be fully emersed by sleep, I had my head faced to the left. Now it would be assumed I was in rendezvous chilling and having a heart to heart talk with my pillow.

While facing my JVC plasma but blocked by my protective pillow, some other strange humanoid got in the way. You know Nigerians. We ain’t got no chill. Just as i was about to let off my scent of discomfort, this object looking like the real form of ‘Allan Strange’ turned my head to the right.

Still on the verge of complaining, my unconscious state wouldn’t let me and trust me, my pillows had failed in protecting my vulnerable self. Now, my view has been changed and the brick wall was fast becoming my companion.

This ‘thing’ stood by my temporary lifeless body, looking at what it had achieved. See eh, am not some task biko that you will be finding to remedy to. Moving swiftly towards my neck which was fully exposed to this ‘God knows who’, there was another reminder that i couldn’t make any voluntary action.

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Now, i could smell this fresh breath close enough. Oh yes, i am not dead but i can still smell though i cant move. Hehe..i have to admit, my predator seemed to have very good mouth habits. I was impressed but this doesn’t change the fact that I was about to face a chunk of reality.

Then i saw this thing moving towards my neck after wasting so much time moping at my jugular vein. Yep, that very blood vessel that can send one to the great beyond if bitten on real hard. Finally, i realise what this stranger was trying to do. Trying to suck my blood? Kai! ‘Impossible’ i thought to myself. ‘My blood no even sweet kwa’, i thought again.

I see myself pacing up and down in my porsche bedroom as i cannot do anything to stop this pre-blood letting. For every attempt to throw a punch at this humanoid kept on passing through it. But wait, i see heels (shoes) behind this blood third goon. Is this all i get for trying to fantasize about money? Oh no. Suddenly, i saw very clean brazilian hair on its head. ‘Chineke jesus oooo’, i began to think to myself. ‘Which kin blood thirsty thing wey carry brazilian hair?’

Wait a second, there’s this sudden flicker of light i saw. ‘Is this a sign’? I thought to myself. Almost immediately, i clenched my fist to deal this nasty being a cruel blow to the head but it was too late. This thing was already in contact with my neck. Then i woke up only to find my girlfriend in attempt to wake me up with kisses.

No wonder she had on brazilian hair i paid 400k for. Hmmm….

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